Thinking about children ?

Currently over in Rio there are over 4000 people of all different disabilities doing amazing things in the name of sport, showing the world that they have overcome injury or illness to do things that are just awesome. (I couldn't even hop over a football, let alone a bar that high !)

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It was also great to see that the Channel 4 advert for their Coverage also showed a bit of the every day obstacles that disabled people face such as eating with no hands, playing instruments and having fun, not just the sports. 

Image : Channel 4

And that's what real life is about, not about the pro sports, but handling everyday tasks.

From my point of view, with only one useful hand, things like cutting up steak, doing cuffs up, tying shoe laces etc. The things other people don't think about.  

Along with all the Paralympics coverage, Channel 4 have a nightly program called The Last Leg. This started 4 years ago during London 2012 to show the lighter side of the Paralympics and answer those awkward questions that you want to know. (Hence the #IsItOk hashtag trending whenever the program is on.)

One of the presenters, Alex Brooker spoke on last nights episode about Alex Zanardi, an ex F1 driver who came back from a horrific accident to take up the hand-cycle and won gold in London and again in Rio. For a lighthearted program, this shows some raw emotion coming from the disabled presenter. Watch it!

One of the things he said resonated a lot, and that was about having children and thinking about how am I going to hold them for the first time. The same thought went through my head many many times before Jake was born. And really the whole reason I started this blog.  

Now Alex's disability is a lot different to mine, and some things will be harder, but that should not stop him.

Everyone works out the best way to do things, myself with one hand, Alex with less digits. and a baby is just a new challenge to work out the easiest way to do things, with the added bonus of it being a baby ! Both my kids from a young age understood my way of doing things and helped make it easier (most of the time) 

Holding is the easy bit (use your arms), I've already done a blog about that, however trying to change a nappy on a wriggling baby while they p!ss in your face is the real challenge !

Anyone who is disabled and worried about the practicalities of having a child, then think about every other task or barrier in your life that you've found a way round, and your own way to do things.. you'll do the same with your child.

The Question Why

So being a parent with a disability I always knew at some point I'd have to explain the disability to my children.
I've mentioned before my hand/arm is weaker to Jake so can't do certain things. And he's just excepted it.
But now he's 4 and so "Why?" is his favourite question.

The other night when going to bed Jake wanted to do 'round the garden' on me.  Which he uses as a time wasting excuse before going to sleep.  But it's very adorable so I let him do it.
Now my left hand doesn't turn fully to turn upwards and can't open fully flat so not the easiest to do 'round the garden' on.

Interestingly one of the surgeons years ago did offer to break and reattach the hand facing up. Although the only two possible uses for an upwards facing hand he could think of would be throwing up a tennis ball or carrying a tray!
And I didn't want to be a waiter at Wimbledon all my life so I declined the kind offer

Anyway back to the elongated bed time...
So as I tried to open my hand as best I could, Jake wanted to know why my left hand doesn't open flat.
So I explained to him and said I'd had an accident when I was younger.
He found it more of a novelty and the following day told the inlaws about my hand and how it opens in a funny way.
"It opens like this,  not like your hands"
He's asked me a few times since about it and I'm always happy to explain (without the gory details)

The one thing I like about Cbeebies is the regular  inclusion of disability.
Children see able-bodied people all around them but might not see disability much in real life especially young people.   It's good that they see it somewhere, so although it might not be 'the norm', it isn't totally out of the ordinary.